Love Phoenix,Suzaku!

Tuesday, April 03, 2007

Is it a crime to have second thoughts?

Oh my god, i guess i'm quite 'wu ke jiu yao' liao. Now, i'm having second thoughts about going Kuching...............again. KEK DAO~~~~i CAN"T make up my mind.....ok, i know i said that when i get accepted,i'll definitely go but now because i'm starting to like MD,arrrgh~~~~ actually, it seems that there's something violent running about in Sarawak. Call me weak, i'm used to Brunei being boring but still, it's sooooooo peaceful le~~~~

Aiyo, i know i can go to Kuching without dying or getting too home-sick but the catch is, is it a better choice for me? That is the question. Though i'm quite upset that i didn't get to do Business. Toink! We must all realize that what i'm taking now in MD is good for a few selected and limited job. Lawyer,journalist,writer,mass media stuff,sociologists,ummmmmm historian? Duh, when i look at these job options, questions cross my mind. These jobs are giving me questions like 'Hey, how much do i earn from these jobs?' Basically, i can only see that my future is dim at the moment. Ever heard that journalists and writers are very,very poor unless you're the next J.K Rowling but she was also tight before Harry Potter was published.

Yeah,right. A lawyer/attorney???!!! Please la, i think i heard that the people study law from England la~~~~ Plus, i wouldn't be able to move from country to country or change my profession to much extend if i become one. Plus, i have an unclear speech problems and i will be dreaming about my next life if i want to study law in England la. And my parents might not be able to send me to study law even in Malaysia. I'll most likely end up in UBD if i stay here and what can i study in UBD???!!! History kah and become a poor scholar for the rest of my life? Sociology? Become what? Sociology teacher meh? I thought about that the most lowly job i'll go for is teacher. Not really lowly la,but to me, i hate kids so there,i might go berserk and kill them......hahaha~~~~

The reason i wanted to go to Kuching was because I'll have a second chance of choosing the subjects over again and this time,business and accounting are in my consideration. At least i think i'll survive out in the society. I can become an accountant and live the boring paperwork life or a business man who knows his accounts so he wouldn't be cheated. Sadly the choice i made in selecting the subject i'm studying now are all based on my dream. But face it, this is the real world. There's only working class waiting for me if i follow my dream. I know it sounds like i'm getting mild and dreamless, which some said without dreams then you'll be worthless.
But, since studying sociology, i must think that maybe because people follow their dreams that they end up as working class and middle class. Never the upper class people. Ok, some people do succeed but what are the chances? i think it's even less than 0.1 out of 10. Where do you get all the rich?

Ok, i'm in denial. I'm just feeling insecure,that's all. I thought that i should learn more skills in order to survive the harsh world. Thinking of learning skills such cooking,hairstyling.....etc. Those professions that involves skills. At least i'm be able to open my own cafe and such lo. Haiz, being 'duo xin' will kill one if ya know what i mean. So, this huge thing has been giving me headache for quite some time. Even my dad's think that staying in Brunei might be good for me. Duh~~~~~It's because i want to start to rely on myself rather than my parents, that's why i have the idea to go anyway. Plus, if i start Form 6 there in Malaysia, i might even get a loan from the govt to study uni la. The very benefit i'm hoping for in the future, so i can lighten my parents' burden. It might not sound like me to sound like that,i guess.

Anyhow, if i really need to decide liao before the payment to enter AS Level closes this Thursday. Well, now i have a funny thought. There's always room for insurance agents and salesperson..........AHHHHHHHHHHHH~~~~~~~~~~

Your Dominant Thinking Style: Visioning

You are very insightful and tend to make decisions based on your insights.
You focus on how things should be - even if you haven't worked out the details.

An idealist, thinking of the future helps you guide your path.
You tend to give others long-term direction and momentum.

What's Your Thinking Style?

Labels: Crossroads, Skool

SS Phoenix @ 9:15 PM

Leaving love at |9:15 PM| ~-~ 0 Hearts given

Yours Truly KSS

Tuesday, April 03, 2007